On Two Feet

Week 8/9

I’m not missing my cast.  Seven days ago I was released from the safe plaster haven that has allowed my ankle to heal for the past two months.  I was told by my consultant that within a fortnight I’d be free of boot AND crutches.  I thought this was a tall order – but now I actually believe him.  Here I am at day 7 – minus boot and minus 1 crutch (most of the time).  However whenever I go outside I always take two crutches with me.  The pain, especially if I’ve pushed myself, is sometimes misery inducing.  Most of the time though it’s entirely livable.  I’ve not experienced too much swelling either.  Both of these symptoms will certainly be with me for the foreseeable future though, so I’d best learn to live with them!

I actually got brave and went into a large supermarket last weekend – with both my crutches.  It wasn’t pleasant – but at least I did it.  I left any more shopping until yesterday, when I took a walk to the local supermarket with my youngest son. It was a glorious day, I really enjoyed the walk, and spending time with my 16-year-old (which is rare in itself these days) was precious.

Tomorrow my eldest son comes home.  He’s been in respite care for the last seven days, and I’m hoping I’m in a bit better position to assist my husband with looking after him again.  I still feel nervous about doing his college runs – especially about pushing his wheelchair up our steep driveway.  I really don’t know how long it’s going to be until I can do that again actually – which means my husbands working hours are still going to remain compromised.  It’s times like this that make you realise just how long a healing process this will be!

I’m also going to have a go at driving again this weekend.  Can’t believe it’s been so long since I was behind the wheel, but it’s something that needs to be done so I’d best crack on with it!

One small (but actually massive victory) is that I’ve been using the stairs again.  I’ve been very lucky that our home is equipped with a lift for our son – so I’ve used that.  My descent down the stairs did actually make me inwardly determined never to use a flight of stairs again.  Sounds weak right?  Well all I can say is I’ve never experienced shock like it – and I never want to ever again.  But I’ve starting using the stairs again.  I’m moving up and down them pretty much like a toddler would – one foot and then the other foot….and very slowly.  But in all fairness I was really scared about taking that step again!

Well, with that victory under my belt, I’m off to cross another item off my to-do list.

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An achievable life

Oh to do the things I normally do.

Who would’ve thought that I would miss tasks like loading the washing machine and dryer!  However, I’m sure that with a bit of adaptation I could manage to do at least something other than fall down the side of the toilet?

Here’s my wish list.  I will cross things off as I achieve them!

  • Go to the loo – without fearing for my life
  • Make a cup of tea
  • Make myself a sandwich
  • Do some washing up (even if I realise afterwards that I’ve used the sponge that’s used to clean the dog bowls out)
  • Get dressed in something other than tracksuit bottoms
  • Be able to get into my wardrobe and chose what I want to wear without having to plan a military operation
  • Be able to put my knickers on without swearing or pulling a muscle
  • Realise that I’m actually not superhuman and need to rest and not feel guilty about it
  • Load the washing machine
  • Drive the car (that’s a long way off)
  • Tackle a flight of stairs – even if it’s on my bum
  • Learn to tackle the outside steps on my crutches – so husband no longer has to half carry half drag me back into the house
  • Stop feeling envious of my friends leading their normal happy lives
  • Let go of the fear.  It’s a bloody plaster cast….not an angry alligator clamped to my leg (although it feels like it at times)
  • Cook a meal for the family.
  • Stop worrying about what will happen financially.
  • Realise that this is a temporary situation.  This will pass.  I will walk on two legs again.
  • Lay to rest the fact that I may not be able to wear high heels and glamorous shoes again….not that I have in the past 5 years anyway.  I’m a Skechers girl though and through!
  • Create another page on this blog listing all the useful tips that are being passed my way by others in the same situation.