What can I say about the past nine days?
The days between my trip (literally) downstairs and now have been strange. I’ve tried to keep the happy front on show at all times, and there times where I have been genuinely happy, and there have been times where I’ve sat on the loo and cried. Mainly because it’s taken so much effort to get there in the first place, and now I’d face a trip back on The Sticks of Satan to find some comfort again. I’ve had two more loss of balance episodes on the crutches, but thankfully only one more sideways tumble-down the side of the dressing table. That was amusing. My husband and youngest son just stood and watched as I fell like a freshly felled tree. In hindsight there actually was very little they could’ve done apart from pick me up, but I believe that was the first occasion my ‘Inner Monique’ came out to play, and to be honest she’s been sitting on the foot of my bed or on the handle of my crutch ever since.
I’ve had visits from the Hardcore Heidi crew…I’ve been brought flowers, chocolates and even doughnuts. I’ve rested, I’ve done as I’ve been told and I’ve had my first clinic visit where I was given another x-ray, a new plaster, and seen the same lovely consultant who told me I could eat breakfast last week! My bones are healing really well, so thankfully my sideways tumbles, the dog jumping on my cast, and my husband accidentally (not convinced on this by the way) dropping a crutch on my ankle, haven’t set me back at all in the healing stakes. I have another check up in a few days, and then if all is well I’ll be left to continue healing for another four weeks.
The hardest part of all of this is that I can’t drive my children to where they need to be. I haven’t attempted anything domestic as husband has been in control, and along with the lack of freedom I can’t look after my eldest son who requires pretty much constant care due to Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities and a whole other collection of conditions, most of which fall under the umbrella of m-cm syndrome. Again, husband has taken over my sons care too, but I know he’s finding it very hard, I have actually had the opportunity to sit back and ponder over how the heck I’ve managed to keep all the balls in the air for so long myself! I have taken a trip downstairs a couple of times in my sons lift, but none of it feels like mine anymore. I suppose that sounds strange. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent so much time up here in the bedroom. I’m sure that I could’ve laid on the sofa downstairs, but it’s been a lot easier to be up here as the bathroom is more accessible than the one downstairs.
Next week will see some changes though. Son is off to respite care and husband will be going back to work. The kids will be at school, so I will be left to my own devices – which will be very strange. I’ve got hold of some basic equipment this week; a shower stool, a cast cover that arrived today – so I can at last have a shower and wash my hair, and I am fast becoming the boss of balancing on one leg when needed. With the aid of the stool and a carefully placed pack of bed pads, I was able to get my son ready for bed and gave him his medication. This was a huge boost. My Mum has also loaned me a walking frame with a seat on it, and this will help me get around in the kitchen, so no fear of starvation whilst everyone is out! I’m a solitary creature by nature so as long as the fridge is full and I have that walking frame, I will be fine.