Downtime

Week 3:  My moods are changing all the time.  Each week brings a change.

With any luck I am now just over half way through my time in plaster, but this week has seemed the longest yet.  I’ve felt quite reclusive.  I’ve not studied.  I’ve just basically holed myself up and watched films that I’ve always meant to watch, and I’ve read books that I’ve wanted to read and not had the time.  I’ve tried to get about, but the swelling starts within five minutes of being on my feet, so I really have resigned myself to rest.  Total rest.  I did have two days where I had to look after my eldest son – and that absolutely wore me out.

I seem to have come in for a bit of grief regarding me resting.  I think the thought seems to be that I should be up and about and doing much more than I am.  But this is my ankle, and my family, and if I don’t rest up then I’m going to end up with surgery – and then being right back to square one.  My normal life can be an exhausting one.  If you don’t walk my path, then you cannot possibly understand it.  And if I have any hope of returning to it without my son ending up in residential care, then I need to do as I’m told now.

This evening for the first time, I am wearing mascara, perfume and a pretty top (with my ever faithful track suit bottoms).  My hair is blow dried and I feel half decent for the first time in weeks.  The girls are coming round for takeaway and for us to make plans for later in the year.  I’m not doing too bad on the Sticks of Satan, and I can shower quite easily alone now, although I need help getting the cover for my cast on.  Taking things slowly seems to be the key for me.  I know I will get though this.  And then once I’m back on my feet I’m going to send my husband away on a holiday cos he actually really deserves it!  Well actually the family budget probably wouldn’t allow for it, but I’d like to try to do something.  I will have to get my thinking cap on.

I know that soon I’ll be out of plaster and into a boot.  I’m hoping that it’s on my next appointment, although I daren’t put too much hope on it.  I’m hoping that will also mean some partial weight-bearing?  And then hopefully after another six weeks I’ll be well and truly on the home straight to recovery.

relax

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An achievable life

Oh to do the things I normally do.

Who would’ve thought that I would miss tasks like loading the washing machine and dryer!  However, I’m sure that with a bit of adaptation I could manage to do at least something other than fall down the side of the toilet?

Here’s my wish list.  I will cross things off as I achieve them!

  • Go to the loo – without fearing for my life
  • Make a cup of tea
  • Make myself a sandwich
  • Do some washing up (even if I realise afterwards that I’ve used the sponge that’s used to clean the dog bowls out)
  • Get dressed in something other than tracksuit bottoms
  • Be able to get into my wardrobe and chose what I want to wear without having to plan a military operation
  • Be able to put my knickers on without swearing or pulling a muscle
  • Realise that I’m actually not superhuman and need to rest and not feel guilty about it
  • Load the washing machine
  • Drive the car (that’s a long way off)
  • Tackle a flight of stairs – even if it’s on my bum
  • Learn to tackle the outside steps on my crutches – so husband no longer has to half carry half drag me back into the house
  • Stop feeling envious of my friends leading their normal happy lives
  • Let go of the fear.  It’s a bloody plaster cast….not an angry alligator clamped to my leg (although it feels like it at times)
  • Cook a meal for the family.
  • Stop worrying about what will happen financially.
  • Realise that this is a temporary situation.  This will pass.  I will walk on two legs again.
  • Lay to rest the fact that I may not be able to wear high heels and glamorous shoes again….not that I have in the past 5 years anyway.  I’m a Skechers girl though and through!
  • Create another page on this blog listing all the useful tips that are being passed my way by others in the same situation.