Bright and early my nurse arrived to get me up and ready for surgery.
I believe it was somewhere between 5.30 – 6am. I figured perhaps I was on the morning list, but when they woke all the other ladies too I realised this was the norm. Monique told the nurse to go away and turn the light out – which cheered me up no end.
No breakfast for me – nil by mouth, so I sat and watched the shenanigans with Monique unfold in the opposite bed. I decided that if was going to be there, then I may as well pick up some tips to add to my ever-expanding portfolio of being a pain in the backside to those that I really don’t want to deal with but have to. However as it turned out my stay was short-lived as the consultant arrived, and with a big grin on his face declared that at this moment in time he was happy with my x-rays and that I could go home on the condition I was on strict bed rest with my leg elevated. If I didn’t behave then I would end up having plates and pins in my foot, and that he’d see me in clinic the following week. “Get this woman some breakfast” was his parting command as he breezed off out of the bay. Tea and toast had never tasted so good. A good mental picture of me with that breakfast would be to vision the Cookie Monster with a big plate of cookies.
A visit from the physio with a pair of crutches, and a whole bag full of drugs to take home later, I was free to go!
I had never been so relieved to see my house. But I had one thing preventing me from dashing up the front steps and in through the door. My busted ankle. This was my first trip on crutches….hereby known as The Sticks of Satan. I had two choices of entrance; up a hill and along my long back garden into the back door, or up three steps into the front door. It took me about five seconds to decide that yes the front might be more tricky – but it was quicker. One problem though – the physio hadn’t shown me how to tackle steps….or if he had I’d forgotten all about it in my morphine induced delirium at being able to go home! I’m not really sure how to put into words how I got in through the front door, but it is a wonder I didn’t end up straight back in hospital!
First stop was a toilet break. That was another baptism of fire as I lost my balance fell backwards and ended up down the sideways of the loo. Grim reality started to sink in. This wasn’t going to as easy as I thought. I contemplated the future for about 3 seconds and decided I had a clear choice between bursting into tears (again) or taking a nap. I chose the nap. Which lasted for the rest of the day.